superficiality

i was reflecting last week.  i seem to act with urgency, drama and excitement on just simple eventualities of my life!  eventualities of not so real stuff compared to shaking problems of a typical human being.  i act as if it was a world of problems when real people’s problems is a kaleidoscope of sorts!  real problems of family life, finances, relationships, mindsets, failures, challenges and even dreams that are far beyond my ka-OAhan complications!

i felt that i am so loved by the lord.  wala man ko sang real problems gid of that magnitude.  i only have conceptual problems that i create, maybe to excite me and maybe to solve most-likely problems of the future (imagine sa future pa)!hahaha in short, binuang lang!hahaha here are some:

i felt na i can’t decide to commit on marriage now because i don’t want to have a family life like most people.  sa survey, 84% of families has either or both parents having extra marital affairs (and i bet its far higher that stat since damo man hindi manugid or madakpan).  ofcourse it is a kaleidoscope of reasons.  things from a nagging wife, a less earning breadwinner, a poor connect on the level of conversations, a “libog” of sorts to physical attractiveness, an obsession for material things and a lot of other stuff.

things that i slowly and tried to continually solve now to have none of these issues affect any of my kids when they grow up.  to have a perfect childhood!  solutions that are too simple and weird to do.  i know na hindi na ko madala subong sang physically attractive chic since i’ve realized years before that beauty and sexiness is just superficial.  things i learned from dating beautiful women.  after mag-edad ano?hehehe ofcourse, kasimple sang sabat.  you shouldn’t sell your whole life with a superficial beautiful gal since in your 40s it is just a 10,000 peso experience to have a 20 year old super gorgeous and clean chic!  just joking with common logic!  i have created conceptual problems of these sorts earlier in life pero i try to not go overboard to make it a future learning and not a present problem..hehehe

if kami ni crystal, i know na hindi issue ang meeting a much more intelligent chic to share ideas and life with since honestly when we were a couple i never met someone more intellectually exciting than her!  hindi man issue ang wealth potentials (i guess these type of issues drives most family problems) since we both acknowledge that wealth is just a state of mind.  people don’t have financial flexibilty because their minds are closed.  so in a physical, intellectual and wealth potential sense i know that these issues are already solved by creating conceptual (but not so real) problems that may have hurt both of us in some way.  but to not bring a tear to our future kids!

my fear is what if i’d like someone for “no reason”?  someone inferior in a finger-counting sense but defies reason.  someone i can’t label as just beautiful, just intelligent and just wealthy to kill off interest.  someone i just like without thinking!  i know the answer to these as i knew the answer to being drawn physically to people years before, but these can be only solved by being in the situation and not as a 3rd-party reader of self-help books!  i know that feelings are “fickle”.  daw “tigbaw nga ginadapya sang amihan”.  pero i won’t know until i cross the bridge.  what if love is really risking (not placing into consideration being a part of the 84%) just to be personally elated at that instant?  pero daw sala, daw ka selfish.hehehe pero hindi ko kabalo.

i guess it is still best to solve these issues before marriage (i guess it is the primary purpose of having a pre-marriage relationship).  in a philippine societal setting, i guess women rush to marriage when they have physical contact with the one they have present relationships.  it is not that they are ready for the long-haul but its because of a security need.  so i guess its part of the reason why it is a high 84%++ ( i would even bet that its 95% if gasugid lang tanan maayo..hehehe daw laka gd man families ko na kilala na la prob..hehehe).  ginapilit ta lang neglect ang reality because we are cataracted with the feeling of love.  if you noticed, puro lang “ako” dire ang may issue.hehehe  i trust crystal morethan i trust myself.  she is the only person i know who is a well made and a strong person that is less affected by these ka-OAhan stuff..hehe  maybe because of being truly near to the lord.

pero again, nahuya ko sang gnapang-sulat ko.  it is not even comparable to real problems of people.  it’s a future issue i’m trying to solve now.  and it looks superficial.  and i may look like a paranoid.  pero it’s also the same superficial way i handle my businesses that’s why i haven’t failed so far.  again, i wish that my choice is right!hehehe

silvercoating!

what do we treasure about our love one that is beyond compare (or to rephrase that can not be compared)?  sige na gani! in kanto boy terms, “paano mo mapamatud-an nga wala mo ginagamit lang ang imo karelasyon?”
as i noticed most people choose their partner based on physical appearance and attractiveness.  by the time their bodies get bloated (a usual occurence in pregnancy and going to beer junkies) a different assumption of the situation is taken in. when people primarily treasure their partner because of sex(iness) and displayability (what a word!), then the 84% probability that atleast one of the partners is cheating is holding ground (on average 60% of people do, so its a combined 84% probabability that atleast one seriously cheats in a lifetime while presenting a smile to their kids when going home..hehehe).  so enough with the physical comparisons because our only body depreciates and the insatiability of wants only increases.  that’s morethan common sense!hehehe

some people choose their partner primarily on intellect.  this is less of a deteriorating facet.  if you found a superbly intellectual partner, its less likely you’ll find a more intelligent one (because finding a sexier choice is easier..hehehe) but it is also inevitable that people are only getting smarter. so as to shaken this choice, when a new intelligent human being just presents itself from mere social probabilities.hehehe

on wealth, their are families broken because one partner became broke!  also, some expectations on earning potential is not met. their is also a risk that a chosen partner has a disastrous spending problem which might again rock the boat when things get rough or a better choice promote itself.  people are oftentimes blinded by money (infact the secret of successful individuals is to always choose ideas before money)

there is always a wealthier person, a sexier person, a more intelligent person and other comparisons which can be presented in a more dramatic superlative adjective.hehehe people who never consider this possibility will ofcourse blindly fall to its trap.  i guess not morethan 90% could say they had not used this simple parameters on choosing the one they have now..  i wanted to hear things that may sound “weird”.  something distinct you like in a person that is beyond compare but will be of no value to most people.  what’s valuable to you (which you can exchange to all of the above parameters) that’s actually of no real value?

a cynic view, are we just silver coating on the word “love”, a real need to “use” people if we value them on intellect, wealth or physical attraction?  can their be “love” minus the “use”?

just joking, after your valentine spending rituals!

decongesting unemployment

let us first treat the words as separate concepts.

decongestion (errr…not checking the dic again and giving my own..whahaha) is giving a lee-way to a very tight situation.  look at my newly uploaded pic where my nose was decongested with our regular almost 4-inch cotton buds (it was eye poppingly painful!whaaaaaaaaaa).  and imagine that the doctor enticed me that it feels like nothing (what a heck!).  when he prepared the 18-inch flexible laryngoscopy camera i was saying to myself are you sure what your going into rj (this is just a simple cough rj right?)?

slowly the snakelike thing entered the insides of my nose and made a “u” turn to enter my mouth (i was tearing with pain at that moment).  when he further pushed thru my throat to see my larynx (i shouted and coughed..coughing while that “thing” was inside my oral self!whahahaha).

let’s define the other word..unemployment.  it is a very far reaching topic than what most of us in the educated metro thinks.  its not only seeing our college classmates not being employed (yet still subsidized by their parents) and not only usual UP folks jumping in and out a job wishing a deserving job!  in a more graphic manner, it is the unavailability of the local government and local industries to support a living for the regular barrio folk.

and even if decongesting my nose to reach the larynx was such a painful and hard experience, this “unemployment” is in the same way a more painful and hard experience for our society.  for me, it erases the respectability of the “honorable-prefix” of our politicians because we are ineffective as a society if we become great while leaving a lot of people in the countryside on the “unemployment quick sand”.

i really feel disheartened hearing that what unemployed people want is only a 300 peso/week job to support their families yet no one can give it to them on a more stable frequency.  it is largely dependent on the seasonal variations of our economy.  they go from people to people just to ask for “jobs” or “food” (and not even money!).  from planting rice, to tilling the soil, to harvesting palay, to being a helper in a construction, to odd jobs here and there, to being a sex-provider of the town-plazas at night (receiving a 20-peso “janitorial fee” from the town gays or fish traders), to being an ingenious theif (most nang popular “illonggo group” are from nearby towns)!

i can not simply blame them..in fact, if i’m in that predicament with my wife crying seeing our son squeeze sa “gutom”, i might do any of the things above.  people can not simply say, magtrabaho ka!  kasi they are!  i can not really imagine how 300 pesos per week is budgeted by the lucky ones who get a 2-month milling job in the rice mills (and it just crushes me thinking of the unlucky ones who don’t).  parang hindi na ako pwede kumain nang steak sa pancake house when i want to kasi i just imagine that it’s a week of substinence to a family of 4 and isang kain ko lang!

kaya when someone from the metro goes to a town and start asking questions relating to minimum wage provided by the local employers and how is it different with their “city standards”, people emphatize the local employers.  puro naman “dada” yung intellectuals na yan at wala naman maitulong sa local unemployment scene as they say.  and the minimum wage earners of the city can never have a larger “disposable income” than the underpayed countryside employees (considering travel expense and/or billeting expense).

i feel really blessed, feeling the true concern of my people when i get a little sick (a simple cough for this matter).  parang i feel the sincerity and the concern (pinapagalitan na nila ako dahil hindi matigas yung ulo na hindi magpagamot!).  maybe because in my own little way i decongested “life” to them (offering at times twice, thrice or even four times the regular town rate with regularity).  with these, i will still continue employing the rejects of corporate philippines and help them dream of things not thought by most “highly graded morons”.  parang even if i don’t earn much, the fulfillment that this gives makes me see life in a brand new light!

continually use me dear lord to show your love to people in the countryside.  i challenge people, stop talking and start helping people in the countryside with employment (and not just 1 time give-aways) for a better philippines!