sa diin ka connected?

i often hear this question and at that instant my brain processes a gazillion times and then stalls.. stalling like your memory-deprived computers!whahahaha sa diin gd man? and how could i say my complexity in a simple one sentence blow? truly, im disillusioned. “ano gd man ako?” is a thing i’m having a problem of answering. i know “purist” will always hate me coz i just bump and stuck out my middle finger “gta-style!” (for non gamers its grand theft auto..the violently controversial pc-game used as a metaphor..hehehe

a. for some part im an “artist” with a following and high-valued, high turnover commisioned works (@130,000 on my second month) for doing something which could angrily nerve-wrack computer freaks and traditional artists!whahahaha what a statement. perhaps that’s how i really feel and that’s how i read them. these people will always look at my things with eye-piercing guilt. a guilt that they should have done this if they were without inhibitions earlier in life! its a question of what is and what was supposed to be done. (details will be posted on my future blog entries)

b. for some part im a “hacker” with 2 televised on prime time major attacks. only people who see this things will believe on this. but i stopped. thanks to crystal. pero traditional computer experts will again hate me for doing something without really knowing its technicalities and just using common sense and getting popular..hehehe (details will be posted on my future blog entries)

c. for some part im a “businessperson” with 20 or more people earning directly or indirectly a compensation for the work rendered. but “purist” in a business sense will always hate my ways in which i just show how to better do things and how to do things most people thought not doable without getting the most out of it. not even for a large amount of money. its just to perform a “statement” to the wide theater of real life! (details will be posted on my future blog entries)

d. for some part im a “feeling intellectual” being awarded by abs-cbn a toys award, winning a rotary sponsored regional academic contest, having a 99th percentile entrance exam in UP in math but not using it on the classroom is a pill hard to bite for most people.

e. for some part im a “gamer”. joining and winning some of the pc gaming competitions with monickers like “quicksilver”, “zerc_off” and the likes. and hacking my way thru winning unfairly sometimes.hehehe

f. for some part im a “chess lover”. i havent ate for hours just thinking of the board during highschool. i dreamed of living a chess life when i was younger and got a lot of offers from universities as a varisty chess player. but my coach hates me. to date i remain the only player in an integrated meet match to purposely draw a rook-up game by placing it in front of 3-pawns so that i would only tie for 1st and drop my coach on the process..hehehehe i’m the only player playing on the regional meet with a deciding game against negros occidental with a walkman on! coz its just cool to do!hehehehe chess purists will always hate me..hehehe infact, will throw the table anytime when i play..hehehe

g. for some cases, i feel like a “mind-controller”. having attributed such from our ultra-secret “psychological chess” training in HS..hehehe people will hate me because im never fair with always assymetric information on the favorable side even in love.. my gf once cried for using the phreak-tool to listen in on phone conversations..hehehe

h. for some part i’m a “feeling inventor” not being able to fail in doing a thing where we don’t have any background. i feel specially challenged when people don’t believe that it is doable..hehehe like this cellphone bluetooth control of a powerpoint presentation on our MA to enable danicing on the floor on reports is near completion..hehehe when my parents say nga “ano naman na nga binuang toto ang ginapaubra mo sa tinawo mo”.. i laugh deep inside..hehehe

i. sometime i feel like a “good leader”. in which my team will jump to any challenge and war to support me even on the weirdest of idea. i know that they are esteemed when we do something new..hehehe i don’t even cross-check their records and they alone will auto-correct when someone on the team is astray or will auto-eject such..hehehe i even pay things on a blank check with my signature on and the amount and “pay-to” spaces left blank when i entrust it to them and nothing goes wrong..hehehe

j. i feel like a “shifter” in a sense that i will appear very differently and on far planes to people. i appear as the “pinkasabad nga tawo nga nakilala nila to some people” and a mear snob and introvert to some..hehehe this is perfectly useful in a micro-business environment.

so to answer “diin ka connected?” is such a dillema since most people expect an answer like “i have a water, gaming, vending, arts, satellite tv business” where i just consider being a business person as one part of myself. so to simplify i would like to answer “im your untypical kid which could not fit in in boxes of connections..”hehehe

alzheimer amusement

i’m writing to amuse myself when alzheimer comes.  my grandfather has it, my father shows signs of development..and i guess i have the early signs of most probably having it also!

imagine having coffee with my grandfather for his 5th of the morning!  he asks being served his 5th for i was having coffee and he (as he thinks) never had one for the morning.  my father on the other hand sometimes turns on the wrong directions during driving and then when we laugh boisterously about it, he gets really mad but laughs after.

i myself easily forgets personal events and just asks my girlfriend (whom i digress everynight on the phone about my day) about what she remembers of what i told her about such events of my life say 5 months ago!

perhaps in my case, its a blessing at this point of life!  i could easily fend off any heart-screaming occurrences for the simple reason that “I CANT REMEMBER”.whahaha i could as i notice focus my attention and brain-power (what a strong phrase) on a project that i am learning because less of my memory is being used to store past experiences.  So in computer lingo, i may have a DDR memory..”a double dynamic random access memory”.  It’s very fast on storing and processing something because it is as fast in deleting those passed infos unlike a cached system memory on a fixed hard drive!