for most of the time after the old teenage me, i was hardly truly sad.
yet sadness inspires me more. it opens up my mind! it shows me that impossibility is just a state of mind. personal sadness has always been a precursor for far better concepts, ideas and creativity in entrepreneurship and the arts.
im so addicted to this cycle that im purposely manufacturing artificial sadness because real sadness seemed to be a remote possibility. like polystyrenes to organics!hehe i purposely find something nga “ipukol sa ulo ko” when things are just levelling out to stir up my emotions. to be more creative! yet im such a dickhead to think of this. my mind is trying to control how should i feel by doing this. but it seemed impossible, the heart has a mind of its own as i learned.
i should be really sad now. i just noticed, i wrote “i should be sad” instead of “im really sad”. how can this foolish smile be out of my face. i have the right situation to be sad but im not! maybe i’ll prick my eye corners for me to be purposely in tears..hehehe i have to be sad. i have a lot planned this year or am i really destined to be a smiling positivist fool?
“what the heck!”, stop this foolishness rj. are you trying to convince yourself again? hala! am i trying to talk to myself..whahahaha
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